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Tag: women’s mental health

Mini Pause #113 | The best advice I got in Paris (without asking)

Posted on by stephanie-estima

I’ve been spending time in Paris this week on Spring break with my family, and I’ve really been noticing the women here.

Not so much their clothes (though the style is unreal), but the way they move through the day.

The way they linger in cafes, carry one bag of fresh groceries, walk everywhere… and after watching for a few days, I’ve realized French women are doing something right – but so are we.

If we combined the best of both worlds, we might have the perfect formula for long-term health in women.

WHERE PARISIAN WOMEN GET IT RIGHT

They walk. Constantly.

Walking isn’t “cardio.” It’s transportation, social time, thinking time… It’s a transition between work and home.

I expect these women are easily accumulating 10-15K steps a day without even calling it exercise. And they’re probably not tracking their steps because they just don’t need to.

Metabolically, these steps matter.

For an average woman weighing 130-160 lbs, 15K steps burns through roughly 600-900 calories per day.

But the real benefits go deeper than calorie burn.

Daily walking:

Improves insulin sensitivity

Supports mitochondrial density

Reduces post-meal glucose spikes

Regulates mood

In North America, we often schedule workouts or walks… and then sit for the rest of the day.

French women layer movement into everyday life.

Secondly, they eat with structure, not restriction.

Meals here are defined, and snacking is minimal.

Yes, they eat alllllll the bread, butter, cheese, and dessert.

(Trust me. I have participated enthusiastically this week.)

But the magic is in the structure. Portions are modest, meals are slow, and eating is seated and social.

No dining al-desko here. No scarfing down a protein bar while answering emails.

Back home, we tend to swing between extremes of chronic dieting, constant snacking, rigid “clean eating” rules, and then raiding the pantry when we can’t take it any longer.

French women show restraint, but it’s not obsessive.

They eat a real meal, enjoy it fully, and then get on with their days.

That approach naturally supports satiety signaling, glucose stability, and a healthier relationship with food.

WHERE NORTH AMERICAN WOMEN SHINE

Parisian gyms are… let’s just say “minimalist.” The hotel gyms are even worse.

One treadmill. Two dumbbells if you’re lucky.

Cardio still dominates here, and the boutique studios lean toward Pilates and light resistance.

Meanwhile, I joined a gym here for the week (would you expect any less?) and I’m the only woman lifting weights.

North American women have embraced something incredibly powerful in the past decade: lifting heavy.

We’ve taken to following structured programs, tracking volume and progress, and understanding how muscles grow.

That shift is changing women’s bodies in extraordinary ways.

[💪 This is exactly what I teach inside LIFT.]

We’ve become fluent in the language of performance. 

We talk about VO₂ max, protein intake, creatine, and recovery protocols, and we invite sophistication to these conversations.

Women are sharing knowledge. We’re comparing metrics and helping each other get stronger.

[🍑 Friends give friends free glute workouts.]

Now, maybe French women are doing this, too. Maybe I just haven’t noticed because I don’t have any Parisian gym friends to compare VO₂ max scores with.

But I will say this…

I’ve eavesdropped on a lot of conversations around cafes this week, and so far? Rien. Nothing.

THE BOTTOM LINE

So here’s the thought that keeps coming back to me while walking through Paris:

French women excel at walking, joyful eating, portion awareness, and daily movement.

North American women excel at progressive overload, resistance training, performance literacy, and muscle building.

What if we blended the two?

Imagine the combination of walking like Parisians and lifting like North Americans.

If we layered:

Daily walking

Anchored meals (preferably with other people)

Intentional muscle building

Sleeping like it’s medicine

Lowered state of urgency

When you combine all these elements, something powerful happens.

You build load tolerance. Tissue capacity. Metabolic flexibility… In other words, you build a body that can carry you well through life.

If France has rhythm… North America has groove.

And personally, I want both. What about you?

 

A bientot!

Dr. Stephanie

 

 

🌟 Love these recommendations? Find more resources to support your health in midlife in my Health Toolkit!

 

 

Disclaimer: The information included in a newsletter, email, or on drstephanieestima.com is intended solely for educational purposes. It does not replace a direct relationship with your licensed medical provider and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Affiliate Disclosure: Products mentioned in a newsletter, email, or on drstephanieestima.com, may be part of an affiliate agreement in which Dr. Stephanie Estima receives a small commission on the sale of an item you purchase.

 

 

Mini Pause #33: Forget Motivation–Do THIS to Reach Your Goals

Posted on by stephanie-estima

Why Haven’t You Achieved Your Goal, Yet? Understanding Outcomes vs. Behaviors

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

  • Outcome goals are fun and all, but if you stop there, they will never be achieved.
  • Set behavioral goals that feed into the outcome goal.
  • Anchor these new behaviors with well-established behaviors you already do in your everyday life.
  • Forget about motivation. She will leave you stranded when you need her the most.

WHY

Setting goals is great and all, but it can seem like an eternity from the time you set the goal (e.g., I want to lose 10 lbs) and the time the goal is achieved (e.g., I have now lost 10 lbs).

We can become obsessed with the outcome of the goal instead of who we need to become in order to achieve the goal.

Today I want to talk about developing the characteristics of a person who sets out and achieves goals.

WHAT

First, let’s distinguish between the outcome you are looking to achieve and the behaviors that are required to achieve it.

In behavioral psychology this is often referred to as outcome goals and behavioral goals.

The outcome is the main result you are seeking. A few examples of outcome goals might include:

  • Lose 10 lbs
  • Learn to speak French
  • Reduce stress
  • Stop late night snacking
  • Get a promotion at work
  • Buy a home
  • Save $10,000

These are all end goals where we achieve a specific and desired outcome. It is how most people set goals for themselves–by defining the end in mind.

This is a good start, but it falls short of defining the steps we need to take–and the behaviors we must adopt–in order to achieve the outcome.

Defining behavioral goals is the way we achieve the outcome goals.

Taking the first goal above–losing 10 lbs. Here are a few examples of the behavior goals to set for yourself:

  • Go to bed at 10 p.m. every night, and get eight hours of sleep.
  • Walk for 45 minutes after dinner.
  • Resistance train 2x/week for the next eight weeks.
  • Subscribe and listen to my favorite podcast of all time, Better! With Dr. Stephanie on my evening walks.
  • Track my calories for the next two weeks to understand my caloric intake.

These are specific behaviors that feed the outcome goal.

In setting behavioral targets, we can fortify positive momentum even when we are faced with low motivation.

It’s so important to understand that while setting a goal is exciting, you won’t always feel as motivated to follow through on the behaviors that will bring about the outcome you seek.

Motivation is your flaky, inconsistent friend who bails on lunch 10 minutes before you’re due to meet and you’re already at the table browsing the menu.

Motivation is sometimes there, sometimes not. It’s easier when she is around, but it is better to expect that she won’t be.

When we define our behavior goals we have a greater chance at actualizing the outcomes we seek.

HOW

Once you’ve defined your outcomes and associated behaviors, the next step is to set up your environment to remind you to do the behaviors.

Think about some cues you can anchor to things you are already doing.

Continuing with weight loss, can you start doing 25 air squats every morning while you brush your teeth?

Brushing your teeth is something you are already doing and have established a habit for. Anchoring another behavior to this already established behavior is how we are going to punch out the new behaviors and achieve our goals.

A few examples of anchoring behaviors:

  • While waiting for the water to boil for my tea, I will do five push-ups.
  • After I drop my kids off at school, I will head straight to the gym.
  • While I am preparing dinner, I will listen to my favorite podcast, Better! With Dr. Stephanie.
  • While I am waiting to pick up my kids, I will enter my calories into a calorie tracker.

This further protects and fortifies these new behaviors with an established and existing one.

NOW

1. Take a blank piece of paper and write down three outcomes goals that have eluded you to date. This could be body recomposition/weight loss goals, or anything that piques your desires.
2. Under each goal, write out three to five behaviors you can easily start today or tomorrow.
3. Think about how you can propel yourself daily through prompts, cues, and reminders to follow through on your behavioral goals.
4. Take your three to five new behavioral goals and anchor them to existing behaviors you are already doing.

Question of the Week

Q: Can using a sauna alleviate perimenopause and menopause symptoms?

Many of you in the Bettyverse are curious about sauna use and ask me if it's particularly helpful at this stage of life. The short answer is YES! I’ve consistently used a Sunlighten infrared sauna (the mPulse model!) in my home this past year and have experienced many of the benefits outlined below. I’ve also incorporated sauna regularly into my workout recovery practices.

  • Infrared light therapy stimulates blood circulation, which can help alleviate hot flashes. Increased blood flow can regulate body temperature and reduce the intensity and frequency of hot flashes.
  • Infrared saunas promote detoxification by inducing sweating, helping the body eliminate toxins and metabolic waste products. This detoxification process can support hormonal balance.
  • Research shows that infrared saunas can improve sleep quality and help alleviate insomnia and other sleep disturbances.
  • Studies indicate that infrared light therapy can help reduce anxiety and mood swings, providing a calming effect on the mind and body and promoting relaxation.
  • Research suggests that regular use of infrared saunas can improve skin health by increasing collagen production and improving skin elasticity. This can help combat aging effects.
  • The deep relaxation induced by infrared saunas can have a positive impact on stress management. By reducing stress levels, infrared saunas can help alleviate the psychological and physical symptoms associated with peri and meno.
  • Scientific studies have demonstrated that infrared light therapy can help regulate hormonal imbalances by influencing the production and release of certain hormones. This hormonal balance can help alleviate symptoms and improve overall well-being.

You can save up to $798 on your purchase of a Sunlighten sauna now through Sept. 6, 2024. Click HERE to learn more about the science and benefits of sauna and find a model that’s right for you. Use code DRSTEPHANIE.

YOUR TURN!

I’ll be answering your questions every week right here in the Mini Pause! Let me know what’s on your mind. I’ll be checking for both questions and feedback at support@drstephanieestima.com.

What I Recommend: Online Health Toolkit

When you’re going after your goals, you may need smart tools to assist your efforts. That’s where my online Health Toolkit comes in. I’ve curated a variety of resources for my Bettys with exclusive discounts.

You’ll find solutions for sleep, skin, longevity, protein, energy, red light therapy, temperature regulation, air quality, and much more! Everything I recommend, I use myself. That’s my rule. I invite you to take a look at ways you could uplevel your health.

P.S.

Learning Opportunity!

There are many ways to be efficient with your time, but this one will unlock your reading superpowers. My good friend Jim Kwik is hosting an exclusive Speed-Reading Masterclass that will revolutionize the way you read and learn!

Jim is renowned worldwide for his expertise in accelerated learning, memory improvement, and speed reading. (Some of you recently attended his free Limitless Learner Summit.) In this 90-min masterclass, you’ll get key insights and practical tips you can implement every day to improve your reading speed and comprehension.

Click HERE to enroll in the Speed-Reading Masterclass for a limited time.

Mini Pause #32: 4 Sentences That Will Reframe Your Life

Posted on by stephanie-estima

Changing Your Life Perspective Starts with Questions about Happiness, Decisions, Lessons & Regrets

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

  • Happiness is not the absence of problems, it is the ability to deal with them.
  • Feeling sad after making a decision doesn't mean it was the wrong decision.
  • The lesson you struggle with will repeat itself until you learn from it.
  • Never regret a day in your life. Good days give happiness, bad days give experience, the worst day gives lessons, and the best days give memories.

WHY

I’ve been thinking deeply about what really matters to me as of late. If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you’ll know I’ve just come back from Italy, and I had a few revelations while I was there that I would like to share with you.

This was my first vacation in over five years (thanks pandemic), and I find the physical distance traveling creates allows me to think about my day-to-day and if it’s in alignment with what I actually want.

Travel always blesses me with the wisdom that has eluded me. Mostly because I am forced to slow down, walk more, get more sunshine and sleep. I am not in front of my computer with “busy work.” I’m in nature, letting my mind wander.

Here are the following concepts I’ve been talking about lately with friends and family, and I’d like to share them with you, too.

WHAT

  • Happiness is not the absence of problems, it is the ability to deal with them.

Even though I intellectually understand this, it still does not mean I enjoy it when I’m sad. Sadness seems to slow down my thinking, and even my physical body. A true “depression” of function so to speak.

The physical aspects aside, I do think one of things that brings me great joy is the ability to be cognitively flexible with problem solving. While my initial reaction might be to remove the intruding problem as quickly and painlessly as possible, sometimes an elongation of pain and discomfort is required to solve the problem properly and correctly.

And when I do feel I have arrived at the correct way through the issue – even though it might be incredibly uncomfortable – I take great pride that I am doing this in accordance with my values and integrity.

  • Feeling sad after making a decision doesn't mean it was the wrong decision.

This one has been particularly helpful to me in so many aspects of my life! From deciding to close my clinic, going through a divorce, and removing family members from constant contact with me, I have experienced immense sadness and grief from all these events. I questioned myself and my decisions.

“Was it really that bad, Stephanie? Are you overreacting?”

This was a common intrusive thought that replayed itself hundreds of times in my head while going through all of these events. And if I’m being truthful (we’re friends, right?) for years afterward.

But acknowledging the sadness after the decision makes sense to me. Two truths can be held at the same time: I can make a decision more aligned with my future and be sad about a chapter of my life ending. This was one of the most freeing realizations. It is not that the decision was wrong, but that I was grieving the loss of the consequence of that decision.

  • The lesson you struggle with will repeat itself until you learn from it.

You'll date the same guy, attract the same friends, be treated the same way by coworkers, and repeat the same family dynamics over and over again until you can recognise the patterns in your thinking and behavior.

And to be fully transparent – I have done all of these wrong at some point or another.

Parenting for me has been a great example of how we fall back on the level of training when push comes to shove. Your kids are mirrors and opportunities to see your own shortcomings like nothing else!

For me, even though it is hard to admit it, my default was to yell. That was how it was in my childhood home, and even though I SWORE I would never do that, I would catch myself yelling at my boys when I was frustrated and had been pushed over my edge.

I’m not proud of it. But it is what it is.

I kept yelling until I realized it almost always achieves nothing of what you want, and almost certainly destroys what you need. If you’re yelling, it is often a bid for connection, or a reaction to something that scares you.

  • Never regret a day in your life. Good days give happiness, bad days give experience, the worst days give lessons, and the best days give memories.

Even though we have all made mistakes, such is the musical ballad of life. With the sadness and lows, you will also have joyous highs. In fact, one might argue that you cannot fully experience the rapture of the joyous moments without the contrast of the lows.

Spring is not as delightful if it wasn't immediately preceded by winter. The audacious bloom and glory of summer cannot be appreciated with the trepidation of spring. The suggestion of slowness and coziness would not be so inviting if not for the expansion and extroversion of summer. And the sharp crispness of winter cannot be fully appreciated without the messiness of fall leaves.

Love and grief move together in opposition, just like happiness and sadness, dreams and memories.

We will have good and bad days. Best days and worst days. They all matter and they all need to be experienced.

HOW

I invite you to reflect on some of the concepts I’ve shared here. Maybe one really resonates, maybe more than one. Think about how you want to be showing up in your life, and how this compares with how you are actually showing up.

  • Is there congruence and alignment? Is there room for improvement?
  • If there is room for improvement, how exactly?
  • Could you journal about this? Use specific examples of where you would have liked to respond better?

NOW

Repetition is often the key to lasting change. Write one of these sentences down where you will see it every day. Maybe a sticky note by your computer, a note on your phone, or an automated email you send to yourself every morning.

Being exposed to the concept over and over is the key to the softening, and letting the message in.

Insights from the Bettyverse

This week, I took your questions on Instagram so I could share some of your feedback here. I appreciate how so many of you have taken the time to write in. It means the world to me that you’re finding value in my teaching.

  • I'm loving the Saturday ‘Mini Pause' emails. I'm recently in menopause and being a nutritionist and a strength coach, and 53, I'm loving everything. And I love reading the newest on the menopause front. I have many clients in the peri-period, so I love reading new information to pass on to them as well. Thank you! ~Josephine
  • I just wanted to send my appreciation for these newsletters. They are informative and relevant and I have forwarded them to a number of my peri and meno friends, family and clients. Thank you so much! ~Natasha
  • I would first like to tell you how much I enjoy your podcast for the usefulness and relevant information and your personal opinions and advice. I have been a caregiver now for family members for about 10 years. I am now perimenopausal. I have started down a path of self care that has led me into looking for alternative ways to deal with my health issues. I enjoy your content and opinions and your empathy and honesty. I find the metabolic, inflammation, diet, exercise, energy production and menopause advice episodes you already provide are perfect, so please continue on those topics. ~Grace
  • I'm and have been a big fan of yours. Thank you for the wealth of knowledge and info shared with us all this time that has helped me make adjustments to my personal care routine. ~Virginia

YOUR TURN!

I’ll be answering your questions every week right here in the Mini Pause! Let me know what’s on your mind. I’ll be checking for both questions and feedback at support@drstephanieestima.com.

What I Recommend: The Golden Secrets

If you followed along my recent trip to Italy, you’ll know that I took travel sizes of The Golden Secrets skin and body products. Well, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Youth Beauty Facial Oil!

This luscious oil helps restore your skin’s natural protective barrier, while also boosting collagen production and encouraging your cells to regenerate.

It does this with a Top 10 of high-performance plant botanicals rich in natural trans-retinoic acid, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants: Helichrysum, Carrot Seed, Frankincense, Rose Geranium, Golden Jojoba Oil, Lavender, Pomegranate, Rosehip Oil, Vitamin E, and Co2 Extraction Sea Buckthorn Oil.

Take a look at The Golden Secrets Youth Beauty Face Oil and the full skin and body care lines HERE. Use code DRSTEPHANIE10 and save 10%.

P.S.

Snack choices! Protein + Energy

When you’re looking for a quick snack, you’ll want to flood your body with natural, energizing vitamins and minerals for a complete reboot of your energy system. As a go-to, I like Paleovalley’s 100% grass fed and finished beef sticks. These clean protein boosts are just so easy; you can take them anywhere!

Paleovalley is known for creating clean products that give you as many nutrients from whole foods as possible, and nothing else. No processed ingredients or synthetic fillers. Just whole foods in a form that can fit into busy lifestyles.

Paleovalley is celebrating its 11-year anniversary! Click HERE to check out all their beef stick flavors. A discount will be auto-applied at checkout.