TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

There are many types of rest, all of which make us better, stronger, happier, and more resilient. Give yourself permission to rest.

WHY

I often conflate rest and recovery with laziness and failure. It is an ongoing battle that I am actively unwinding and examining in my life.

I, perhaps like you, have to remind myself that the pernicious lie women often bump up against is that if we are not productive, we are engaging in the slovenly sin of being a sloth. That our worth is intrinsically tied to our productivity. For someone who is used to pushing the finite limits of her matter, it can be hard to slow down, breathe, and recover.

I was recently reminded of this last week when I took three solid days off from the gym and off all activities other than walking meetings on my treadmill. I had accumulated so much fatigue (physically from the gym and a recent move), as well as emotionally, I found myself dreading the gym. And while I was there, I wasn’t able to hit the same weights and intensity that I’m used to.

I also found myself avoiding conversations that had to be had and avoiding friends because it felt like there was too much turmoil for me to put on my happy and brave face.

When I finally reached out to my friend, it felt good. It felt like a relief. And I was reminded of how, when you have the right company, they WANT to help you. It is an honor for them, in the same way, it is an honor for me to help when I’m asked. I’m also happy to report that when I did come back to the gym, my PRs were non-stop on every single exercise.

While I still know I have a residual allergy to resting, I, like you, am a work in progress. Striving for better than yesterday. And rest is an integral part of that.

WHAT

Physical fatigue is a natural consequence of consistent and regular training. We accumulate physical fatigue every time we hit the gym. We wait a few days for the soreness to subside, and then we go at it again. After several weeks of intense training approximating failure, all of us will accumulate fatigue that our bodies cannot clear at the same rate.

Several factors are at play here: weeks or months of intense training ramps up cortisol, downregulates testosterone, degrades the quality of your workouts, and increases the potential for injury.

I find most women hit this need for physical rest between the 8-12 week mark of training.

There are several ways to deload that I talked about in Mini Pause #18. Today, I want to also offer a few ways rest can dramatically benefit your physical, mental, and emotional self.

HOW

Take a partial or full break from your normal exercise habits. For me, this looks like decreasing (or eliminating) the volume at the gym for three days during one week every 12 weeks or so.

Other ways you can amplify physical rest and fatigue are by:

• Getting extra sleep
• Sauna therapy 
• Cold water immersion
• Breathing techniques & breathwork
• Meditation
• Compression boots
• Walking
• Chiropractic adjustments

SENSORY REST

This is a break from the things that thwart your senses (hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting) on a daily basis.

For your eyes:

• Switching off from social media for a few days
• Dimming overhead lights at sunset and keeping them off
• Closing and refraining from texting and group chats

For your ears:

• Eliminating background noises
• Driving in the car in silence
• Wearing earplugs in public
• Taking a break from AirPods/music

For your nose:

• Throwing out all candles in the home (and let’s just pinky promise to never buy more)
• Opening up windows and doors to freshen up our indoor spaces
• Having plants that clean the air (I love spider plants)
• An air purifying unit running constantly in the bedroom or kitchen area
• A lavender spray for your bedsheets
• Mouth taping to encourage nasal breathing overnight

SOCIAL REST

Social rest can mean either a break from social engagements like social media or carving out time to spend with those who charge up your batteries. These are the people that make you feel seen, heard, and understood. The other thing this entails is actively removing or avoiding those who do not. (Spending time with and playing with animals also is a wonderful way to rest from human interaction.)

For me, this meant admitting to a friend that I was being reclusive and relying on old code (retraction) when I was feeling overwhelmed.

EMOTIONAL REST

Sometimes, we shove our emotions deep inside us and lock them away, foolishly thinking they don't impact our present-day thinking and behaviors. Or we rely on old coding and old strategies based on old patterns to get us through who we are today.

Emotions are the stamps on our experience–in the present and often colored in from past lived experiences as well. As scary as it might feel to open that pandora’s box, sometimes we need to be the witness to our own pain, angst, and interpretations.

I often find making sense of my emotions and witnessing them helps me make sense of who I am and gain clarity on what is important to me. There are several ways to connect with your emotions, including:

• Journaling
• Crying
• Shaking
• Supervised psychedelic therapy
• Therapy
• Dancing or movement
• Singing or humming

CREATIVE REST

For all you Boardroom Bettys tasked with problem-solving, this can be very analytical and left-brained. Creative rest means stepping away from the problem and your daily grind.

• Get out in nature and engage in the natural world.
• Go for a walk.
• Travel (this can be a nearby weekend escape or getting on a plane to a further destination).
• Be playful. How can you curate awe and wonder in your life today? Can you dance? Sing? Play with your kids or go to an animal shelter and play with some puppies?
• Visit a museum and look at art.
• Find pictures of places and landscapes you love.
• Draw or doodle.
• Try something kinesthetic like baking, pottery, or painting.
• Dream about your desires.

MENTAL & SPIRITUAL REST

Sometimes, what you need is an analog reset. Your brain needs quiet and the ability to wander. Here are some simple examples:

• Turn off the radio or music when driving.
• Sit in silence with a cozy blanket, close your eyes, and hone in on the rise and fall of your belly.
• Listen to hymns or music without words. (I’ve recently been enchanted with music at 963Hz, often dubbed “the God frequency” or “healing frequency.”)
• Try Yoga Nidra.
• Do something repetitive and cathartic (that doesn’t take up brain space), like laundry or tidying up.
• Express gratitude for what you have now (that’s easy to overlook).
• Hum to entrain the parasympathetic nervous system.

NOW

Choose just one of the above that speaks to you. Plan for it in the next month–actually put it on your calendar–ideally over the holidays or as work winds down for the year.

You already know which one you need. Go with your intuition and let it be easy.

What I Recommend

Mentioned in Today's Article

Sauna

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Compression

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Clean Air

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