Mini Pause #71: Why Are Women So Afraid to Build Muscle?

TL; DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

Women often shy away from muscle building due to misconceptions around bulkiness and outdated beauty standards.

We unpack where this came from, why being skinny is not a good look in midlife (and beyond), and why this can be detrimental to our health as we age.

Strong>>>Skinny!

WHY

The pursuit of being “small”—primarily through excessive cardio—can lead to detrimental long-term health effects, especially as we age.

Being small in midlife—if I may be so frank—is just not a good look.

But prioritizing muscle isn't just about aesthetics; it's essential for your health, longevity, and overall quality of life.

The bulking myth continues to persist, and I see it taking many different shapes: even in the new wave of women embracing weights, we still see women eating small quantities of food, doing too much cardio, and shying away from lifting heavier weights or muscle growth.

I had a woman on Instagram tell me recently that building muscle means we have to eat soooooo much food!! If we just focus on strength, then you can have strong muscles, but they won’t be big!

😳 I found this incredibly bizarre and alarming. What is wrong with full, round, juicy muscles on a woman?

What is wrong with eating to give your muscles a reason to grow?

And then I realized it's the fear of being too big / too bulky / too much, but it has presented now as a different form.

WHAT 

1. Misguided Beauty Standards: Today's mainstream beauty ideals, heavily influenced by media and celebrity portrayals, rarely showcase women with pronounced muscle definition.

Popular culture often celebrates being skinny with minimal muscle visibility, reinforcing the idea that muscles detract from femininity. We see it on trashy magazine covers, the “before” and “afters,” or when medications like GLP-1s are intentionally mismanaged.

This widespread portrayal of skinny over strong contributes significantly to misunderstandings about what a truly healthy, strong female body can and should look like, leading many women to undervalue strength training and muscle development.

I personally want my glute-sized shoulders and a quad sweep that makes grown men weep. I LOVE it when I can see my muscles. I have a few goals in life: be a better mother to my kids, learn to perfect a winged eyeliner, and to be jacked and tanned.

All still a work in progress. 😉

2. The Bulk Myth: Many women fear becoming bulky from strength training.

The irony, of course, is that this is so very unlikely for 98% of the female population. Building significant muscle mass is extremely challenging for women.

Women naturally produce significantly lower levels of testosterone, the primary hormone responsible for muscle growth, compared to men.

Additionally, while essential for health, female hormones like progesterone don't significantly contribute to muscle hypertrophy.

Muscle building in women typically results in improved shape, enhanced strength, and vital protection for bones and joints—not bulkiness. I have been trying to get jacked naturally for years now—and it hasn’t happened yet… although a gal can continue to dream!

3. The Language Trap: Common phrases like “long and lean” or “toned” misrepresent how muscles actually function and adapt.

Muscle length is genetically predetermined, with specific origin and attachment points on the skeleton that remain constant throughout life.

Training can and will certainly influence muscle strength, overall size, and visible definition by affecting muscle fiber thickness and body fat levels.

However, NO exercise or stretching can physically elongate muscle beyond its genetically set parameters. Understanding this helps dispel myths that often discourage women from engaging in effective strength training.

And don’t even get me started when I hear “long, lean, and toned” all together in one sentence!

4. Muscle as a Long-Term Investment: Unlike rapid fat-loss strategies, building muscle is a gradual and strategic process that requires:

  • consistent strength training;

  • proper nutrition, including sufficient protein for muscle repair and growth;

  • balanced carbohydrate intake for energy;

  • adequate healthy fats for hormone production;

  • quality sleep for optimal recovery’

  • targeted supplementation to address specific nutrient gaps;

  • and diligent stress management practices;

… all sustained consistently over years. Building muscle is a game of centimetres. It is energetically expensive to build more muscle, and we must have the proper environment to maximize this.

5. The Consequences of Muscle Loss: Ignoring muscle strength leads to numerous health risks, including:

  • Decreased bone density: Muscles stimulate bone growth and strength through load-bearing activities, helping to prevent osteoporosis and reducing fracture risks as we age.

  • Poor glucose regulation: Muscle tissue plays a crucial role in glucose uptake and metabolism. Losing muscle mass can significantly elevate the risk of insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes.

  • Loss of proprioception: Reduced muscle strength and joint mobility impair proprioception (the body’s ability to sense its position and movement in space), heightening the chance of falls and related injuries.

  • Weakened immune function: Adequate muscle mass and regular resistance training support immune health by promoting anti-inflammatory responses and enhancing overall resilience.

  • Compromised mental health: Muscle strength is closely linked to cognitive function and mental well-being. A decline in muscle mass and strength can negatively impact mood, cognitive clarity, and overall mental health.

6. Cardio's Impact on Muscle: Excessive cardio elevates cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine levels, creating a prolonged catabolic state.

Cortisol, a stress hormone, signals the body to break down muscle protein for energy, particularly during extended periods of physical stress or calorie deficits.

Additionally, elevated adrenaline and norepinephrine can further amplify this catabolic effect by promoting the mobilization of muscle glycogen and amino acids, ultimately leading to decreased muscle mass and compromised muscle preservation.

HOW

💪 Prioritize Resistance Training: 

  • Include regular strength workouts focusing on progressive overload, so you’re gradually increasing the weight, sets, or repetitions to challenge your muscles and stimulate growth continuously.
  • Emphasize compound movements like squats, deadlifts, presses, and rows to maximize muscle recruitment and efficiency.
  • Think of resistance training as the kind of person you want to marry and have a long-term relationship with. You’re in it for the long haul, through it all, through thick and thin.

🚴🏻‍♀️ Do Strategic Cardio: 

  • Opt for brief, intense cardio sessions (e.g., sprints or high-intensity interval training) 1–2 times weekly to support muscle growth rather than hinder it. Short, intense cardio sessions help improve cardiovascular fitness and metabolic function without creating prolonged stress that can lead to muscle breakdown.
  • For the fun step or Zumba classes, bike rides, or other Zone 2/3/4 activities: date them. They are super fun and novel, and you can switch them up to your heart’s delight.

💋 Rethink Beauty Ideals: 

  • Embrace strength as beauty, and being strong over skinny.
  • The benefits of muscle long-term include improved bone density, joint health, metabolic rate, and functional independence, ultimately contributing to a higher quality of life and better aging outcomes.

NOW

➡️ Audit Your Routine: Replace excessive cardio with balanced strength training and targeted cardio sessions.

➡️ Nutrition Adjustments: Ensure adequate protein and carbohydrate intake to support muscle growth.

➡️ Consistency: Adopt a long-term mindset, understanding that muscle growth is a slow and steady process. It is more important to be consistent than it is to have the “perfect” routine.

What I Recommend

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  • To learn more about minerals and how they can support weight loss in midlife, read my new article here.
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🌟 Love these recommendations? Find more resources to support your health in midlife in my Health Toolkit!

Mini Pause #68: Why Plyos Are Essential for Women Over 40

🌸 SPECIAL MOTHER’S DAY GUIDE

This Mother’s Day, I want to remind my fellow mamas and all of my Bettys of something incredibly important: you deserve to be deeply nourished.

With this in mind, I’ve put together a Mom’s Day guide that will show you how to give yourself the most luxurious day possible. I’m also including free goodies and extra discounts on my self-care favs so you can pamper yourself without guilt.

Whether you follow it step-by-step or are simply inspired to take a few moments for yourself, believe that you deserve ALL of it! Today and every day. Here’s your 24-hour guide for resting, recharging, and treating yourself like the Queen you are.

Why Plyos Are Essential for Women Over 40

TL; DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

Plyometric exercises—jumping, bounding, explosive movements—are crucial for women over 40.

They enhance muscle strength, improve bone density, boost metabolism, and increase joint stability, helping you age actively and vibrantly.

In this issue, you’ll find a sample beginner, intermediate, and advanced plyo routine to suit you.

WHY THIS MATTERS

As we age, especially if we are not intentional during perimenopause and menopause, women will naturally experience declines in muscle mass, bone density, and joint stability.

Incorporating plyometric movements into your routine helps combat these age-related changes, making daily activities easier and reducing the risk of injury.

WHAT PLYOS DO FOR YOUR BODY

💪 Muscle Strength and Power: Plyometrics build powerful muscles by targeting type 2B fast-twitch muscle fibers. These are primarily responsible for explosive, powerful movements.

  • These muscle fibers are the first to degrade with age, significantly impacting power, strength, and quick reaction times. Plyometric training has an anabolic effect, stimulating muscle growth and enhancing overall muscular strength and power.

  • Enhanced proprioception (body awareness) from plyometric movements further supports muscle strength by improving neuromuscular coordination, reducing the risk of falls, and promoting mobility.

🦴 Bone Health: Explosive movements stimulate osteoblasts, the cells responsible for bone formation, thereby enhancing bone strength. This action counters osteoclasts, the cells responsible for breaking down bone.

  • During perimenopause and menopause, women experience a shift favoring osteoclast (bone breakdown) activity, leading to decreased bone density and increased osteoporosis risk. By promoting osteoblast activity through plyometric exercises, women can significantly mitigate these effects and maintain stronger, healthier bones.

💥 Metabolism Boost: High-intensity plyometric workouts increase calorie burn during exercise due to their demanding nature, and they continue to elevate metabolism afterward through a process known as Excess Post-exercise Oxygen Consumption (EPOC). This mechanism helps the body recover by replenishing oxygen stores, repairing muscle tissues, and removing metabolic waste, resulting in sustained calorie burning even after the workout has ended.

HOW

Beginner Program (once a week):

  • Box or Step Jumps: 2 sets of 5 reps at a moderate height (this will depend on your height)

  • Jumping Jacks: 2 sets of 10 reps

  • Squat Jumps: 2 sets of 5 reps, focusing on a gentle landing

Intermediate Program (twice a week):

  • Box or Step Jumps: 3 sets of 10 reps, moderate height

  • Skater Jumps: 3 sets of 10 reps each side

  • Squat Jumps: 3 sets of 10 reps, increasing explosiveness

Advanced Program (2-3 times a week):

  • High Box Jumps: 4 sets of 8-10 reps at a challenging height

  • Skater Jumps with Speed: 4 sets of 15 reps each side

  • Tuck Jumps: 4 sets of 8 reps, aiming for maximum height

Increase intensity and reps gradually based on your fitness level and comfort.

NOW

➡️ Ease into It: Begin gently and focus on proper form to prevent injury. This step is everything, and the key is proper form. If you’re unsure, start with the beginner program, even if you have some experience with plyometrics.

➡️ Combine with Strength Training: Incorporate plyometric moves 1-2 times weekly, balanced with strength training. Remember, weightlifting should be the foundation of your fitness program.

➡️ Consistency and Recovery are Key: Regular, moderate plyometric workouts bring sustained health benefits. When you first start, you may notice yourself feeling more tired afterwards, or your muscles, such as your calves, may be unusually sore—this is normal and expected! You might consider giving yourself a lot of recovery time in the first few weeks as your muscles are remodeling and building new type 2b fibers. Slowly graduate up from there. Pinky promise?

What I Recommend

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🌟 Love these recommendations? Find more resources to support your health in midlife in my Health Toolkit!