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Mini Pause #46: The Duality of Gratitude & Growth

Posted on by stephanie-estima

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

Don’t play the “What if?” game. It is a slippery slope to hell.

Instead, give thanks for all the high notes, the low notes, and the learning opportunities you have.

Expect mistakes. Give grace. Then get back up, Betty, and keep going.

WHY

Once, when asked what my husband got me for Valentine’s Day, he smugly responded “Every day is Valentine’s Day.”

In the same vein, I do feel every day is an opportunity to give thanks, and there’s something special about a set holiday dedicated to gratitude.

Perhaps it’s the communal knowing that we are lucky beyond belief to live in the country we do–despite the problems it has. We can say what we want, travel where we want, and live our life in the way we want. Is it perfect? Of course not. But there are certainly regions of the world I would never, ever go to because of the loss of freedoms I currently enjoy.

Imagine going to a movie to watch a film, and the protagonist had no struggle, Everything was easy all the time. No growth required. They just showed up every day without purpose and didn't have the drive to achieve anything of meaning to them.

You’d walk out of the theater.

Life, in order for you to appreciate the good, must also be colored with the difficult so that you can appreciate the contrast.

And you can be thankful for ALL of it.

WHAT

It's relatively easy, with the benefit of hindsight, to play the “What If?” game:

  • “What if I had taken that job in another city?”
  • “What if I hadn’t married that guy?”
  • “What if I had chosen an entirely different career path for myself?”

There are a million permutations of this question and it’s such an alluring mind game. And like all mind games, it can spiral you into shame, guilt, and self-loathing.

I have struggled with many of these (and other) “What If?” questions. The only sane conclusion is that I did the best with the tools I had at the time. It also allows for forgiveness and grace (to yourself and those involved in the decision in question).

We all make mistakes.

We make small mistakes.

We make big mistakes.

We make life-altering mistakes.

Welcome to the human race! We are flawed and mistaken-ridden by design.

Humans are born to make errors.

What we are often not taught is how to learn from our errors without mentally whipping our self-esteem and mindset into submission.

The key is to be thankful for the lesson. To be grateful for it. So that you can learn, grow, expand, and evolve.

The point of being grateful for the lesson isn't merely to feel better. If you want to feel better in an instant, you can simply blame others for your misfortune. That delegates all responsibility to other people. If you want to get better (the philosophy of my entire podcast and by extension, my life)–blame yourself.

When you take responsibility for your life and all of the actions and events within it, you get better. The sooner you accept your hand in it, the sooner you can do something about it.

You learn. You evolve. You expand.

HOW

Every year, somewhere between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, I take a few hours to go over my calendar and notebooks to reflect back on the year. What were the big pain points, the big wins, and what did I learn?

The wins are a delight to recount.

  • What were the things that really worked in my marriage / parenting / friendships this year?
  • What consistent themes or patterns in these verticals that felt like I was gaining momentum?
  • What activity / behaviors / actions felt incredible to do?
  • How can I do more of them next year?

The learning and the pain points are where the juicy bits are and an opportunity for gratitude and growth. They allow me to triage where I need to focus my growth:

  • Where do I still need to be tender with myself / others?
  • What requires more healing this year?
  • Where did I act out of anger when, in truth, I was scared?
  • What are my patterns of behavior when I don’t feel considered / important / heard?

NOW

  • Pick a date over the next few weeks (and before the end of the year).
  • Set aside one to two hours to review your yearly calendar.
  • Ask yourself some of the prompts above and take some time to journal or voice note your answers.
  • Build in more joy, more healing, and more learning for 2025.

I hope this exercise will allow you to experience more gratitude, more joy, and more expansion in the year to come. Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving and holiday season ahead!

Love,

Stephanie

What I Recommend

Special BFCM Deals for My Bettys!

EQUIP FOODS: Stock up on all my favorite essentials like Prime Protein, Complete Collagen, Core Colostrum (gummies!), Clean Coffee, and Pure Pre (Pre-workout.)

  • Through Dec. 2, get 30% off sitewide on one-time purchases only HERE.

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  • Through Dec. 2, use code BFCM24 at checkout HERE.

Gift of Health Guide 2024

This year's Gift of Health Guide includes items I invested in using consistently this year. In doing so, I experienced improvements in all areas of my physical and mental health: fitness performance, recovery, sleep, skin, stress, mental acuity, and more.

You'll find items and discounts at many price points. While the Gift of Health Guide will be live online until Dec. 31, some of the specials are limited to certain time periods throughout the holiday season. Be sure to check the offers and codes for the best deals.

Consider giving meaningful gifts of health to yourself and those you love this season! Start Gifting! 

Now Open: EVEN BETTER! Premium Membership Subscription

Here’s what’s now live for members:

    • A new members-only “She Said, She Said” episode with Cynthia Thurlow, ND, launched with a discussion that touches deeply on personal experiences and life updates, family dynamics and life lessons while reflecting on our journeys toward minimalism and the joy of decluttering.

      The members-only podcast (ad-free & early release) with Dr. Mariza Snyder went live, too. This perimenopause conversation covers hormones, mindset, and practical tips to thrive during this life transition.

DON'T MISS OUT! Join other Bettys in the EVEN BETTER! Premium Membership

  • Early and ad-free access to the weekly BETTER! podcasts.
  • Private “Ask Me Anything” episodes based on member questions. (Note: The Mini Pause Question of the Week Section has been sunset. You’re invited to join the Premium Membership for access to Q&A opportunities & episodes. )
  • Surprise guests and solo shows only for members.
  • My insights from the guest discussion coupled with recommendations you can use to build habits and routines that support your goals.
  • Downloadable action guides. Coming Soon!
  • Bonus content beyond the podcast episodes.
  • Exclusive discounts for brands I love.
  • Being part of a community with like-minded Bettys!

Subscribe HERE to find several introductory membership options to fit your budget.

Mini Pause #29: Travel Tips for Jet Lag, Sleep, Fitness & Food

Posted on by stephanie-estima

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

Adjusting to local time for me is switching my watch as soon as I board the plane, getting in a workout first thing in the morning, and taking an early afternoon nap.

I savor each meal and eat what I want (including all the bread and pasta I desire). I chalk it up to a diet break and walk a lot.

After all–life is about pleasure and experience!

WHY

If you’re traveling this year or planning a staycation, here are some strategies I employ and have found to be incredibly useful when acclimating to a new time zone and being thrown off my regular comforts of home.

WHAT

Jet Lag
Depending on the degree of time change, you can start slowly shifting your internal time clock up to a week before your flight. As the saying goes, flying “east is a beast” and flying “west is the best.”

When I fly to the West Coast, it is incredibly easy for me to wake up early in the morning (sometimes TOO early in the morning!) and have a hard time staying up late. This works well for my lifestyle though, and I don't often struggle when flying west.

When I fly east it is often to Europe where there is a minimum of a five or six-hour time difference. If I’m not able to change my sleeping patterns the week leading up to the flight, there is a small but mighty trick I do.

HOW

Sleep
As I’m boarding the flight, I change my watch to the local time of where I’m flying.

I don’t know why this works. But it does. Without fail and every time. If someone has the science to explain this to me, I’m all ears. I don't even know how I stumbled upon this trick, but here we are, wondering together.

I try to sleep as much as I can on the plane and bring a few travel items with me to sleep well:

  • I take Qualia Night as soon as I board so I’m ready to sleep a few hours later. (Use code STEPHANIE for a discount.)
  • An eye mask to shut out the lights from the plane
  • Noise-canceling headphones
  • Extra pair of woolly socks (What can I say? My feet are almost always cold.)

When we arrive at the local destination, it’s often still too early to check into our room, so we drop the bags off and immediately go get a strong coffee and head to a local gym to work out. I always research local gyms beforehand so we know exactly where we are going.

After the gym, I’ll find a local market and buy bottles of water, and snacks for our hotel room, like yogurt, fruits, and usually a tub of protein powder.

Once the room is ready, it is usually early afternoon by this point. I unpack, put the water and snacks in the hotel fridge, and take a nap.

I set a timer and do not let myself sleep for more than an hour, and never past 4 p.m. local time. This nap (both the timing of it and the length) is crucial to adjusting to the new time zone I’m in.

This first-day routine works like a charm for me every time:

  • Exercise first thing upon arrival.
  • Take an early afternoon nap.

Fitness
While I’m on vacation and depending on where I am, I will join a local gym, usually with day passes or a week pass). It’s super fun to work out in a new environment, with new people, and even more humbling when you have to switch lbs to kgs! More often than not, the hotel gym will be mainly cardio equipment and a few weights. For me, it is always worth looking into gyms with weights. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just machines, a variety of weights and I’m good!

The last time I was in London, I joined a gym called The Gym Group and it was awesome. They ticked off all the boxes I was looking for:

  • Easy to sign up.
  • Easy to cancel.
  • Great hours of operation.
  • All the weights and machines I needed to get the job done.

I get all my cardio in by walking. I rack up easily double, sometimes triple my baseline of 10-12K daily steps. This requires packing comfortable clothes, and of course, comfortable footwear that doesn’t give me blisters.

I opt for some cute workout outfits or summer dresses with sneakers. I’ve linked my favorites from Amazon here.

Food
I usually don’t fret too much about food while on vacation and generally eat what I want. I look at it as a diet break. I eat until I’m just about full, and I try to eat slowly and savor the food.

My only overarching rule is to try to have protein with every meal.

The only time this presents a challenge is breakfast. Europeans love their croissants, cornettos, and other sweet morning treats! I don't usually find it too hard to source eggs, or cured salmon and if all else fails, I have my backup tub of protein powder to mix in water.

For lunch and dinner, if we are near the water, I usually opt for fish, and if we are more inland, I get steak.

Many people, including myself, find that wheat products like pasta and bread are less inflammatory outside North America, so I enjoy bread with almost every meal. I also take advantage of pasta if the mood strikes me. I love to walk after dinner to aid in digestion, especially if I’ve had a particularly rich meal.

My only other concern on vacation is staying hydrated. Walking or even lounging at the beach can be dehydrating so I make sure I bring my LMNT electrolytes with me.

NOW

Planning ahead can be a game-changer for vacations.

  • Pack your necessities for the plane ride itself (eye masks, headphones, and download the latest Better! With Dr. Stephanie podcasts ahead of time).
  • Search online ahead of your trip for local gyms near your hotel.
  • Search for local grocers and markets to pick up items like water and snacks when you arrive!
  • Pack your supplements.
  • Opt for some cute but functional clothing; summer dresses are always my fave and I pair them with sneakers.

Question of the Week

Q: Why do you also need BEAM Minerals if you're drinking LMNT throughout the day? Isn't this doubling up?

I got this question about supplements from Christi in response to Mini Pause #27. Since I also mention LMNT in my travel routine this week, it’s a great time to offer some clarity.

The short answer here is both are necessary as they do different things.

While they are both minerals, they serve different purposes. If you listen to my conversation with Caroline Alan from BEAM Minerals on the BETTER! podcast, you’ll see how she speaks about humic and fulvic acids being important as antioxidants, helping with nutrient assimilation, and also being natural detoxifiers.

Salt, on the other hand, is very tightly regulated by the body. It’s lost in large quantities when we work out and physically exert ourselves, especially when it is humid.

Salt helps us stay hydrated by helping the body hold onto water. This is why if you are working out, it isn't enough to simply drink water. Whenever you sweat, you also lose salt and other electrolytes.

YOUR TURN!

I’ll be answering your questions every week right here in the Mini Pause! Let me know what’s on your mind. I’ll be checking for both questions and feedback at support@drstephanieestima.com.

What I Recommend: Qualia Night

Between changing hormones, busy work schedules, and taking care of family, my Bettys often struggle with sleep. Knowing what you’re juggling, I’ve searched for options that can help you get to sleep and stay asleep.

Qualia Night is a different kind of sleep support. You take it at dinner time and it helps your nervous system naturally wind down at night. And, it doesn’t make you drowsy. When I take it, I can feel myself getting calmer, not groggy.

Because so many of you are high performers during your waking hours, you’ll like that Qualia Night enhances your sleep performance, too. Qualia Night’s unique blend of ingredients enhances BDNF, promotes GABA, and balances cortisol levels.

This means you get deeper sleep that helps your body systems heal, recover, and regenerate. (I mention Qualia Night as part of my travel favorites, too, and take advantage of these same benefits while I’m out of my regular routine.)

Since I’m getting better quality deep sleep regularly, I wake up feeling recharged and refreshed. I want you to start sleeping better, too, so you can show up in your life with vibrant energy.

Visit Qualia Night to learn more about how you can improve your sleep. Use code STEPHANIE to get 15% off.

P.S.

Here in the Bettyverse, we focus on Meals, Muscle, Mindset, and (Peri)Menopause. When an opportunity comes along that I know will offer you benefits that complement the content I provide, I always want to share that with you.

I’d like you to consider joining my friend and world-leading brain coach, Jim Kwik, at his upcoming FREE live virtual event, August 5-7, 2024: The Limitless Learner Virtual Summit

Jim’s bringing in a superhero team of high-performers and world-leading entrepreneurs to guide you and share their wisdom. Here’s a sampling of what you’ll learn:

  • The brain-first approach to becoming a top performer: How to solve challenges with your memory, focus, and concentration so you can perform at the highest level possible.
  • How to unlock the power of your memory and overcome forgetfulness (because your memory makes you money).
  • The secret to overcoming procrastination and distraction, so you can stay focused in an information-overloaded world.
  • How to read faster, comprehend, and remember more of what you read so you can catch up, keep up, and get ahead in your industry.
  • Accelerated learning strategies to help you learn anything faster, master new skills, and take control of your future (no matter where you’re starting from).

Click HERE to claim your exclusive invite to Jim Kwik’s FREE Limitless Learner Virtual Summit.

About Jim Kwik: He’s the author of the best-selling book “LIMITLESS” and host of the #1 brain performance podcast, Kwik Brain. He is the world’s leading expert in speed reading, memory improvement, brain performance, and accelerated learning.