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Tag: healthy habits

Mini Pause #106 | I’m fuming🔥🤬

Posted on by stephanie-estima

I’m pissed.

I just recorded a response video to YET ANOTHER video of a social media influenza (*ahem… I mean… influencer…) teaching other women to “tone” and not “bulk” because we “don’t want to look like men.”

Actually? In the golden age of perimenopausal enlightenment and biohacking… this is how you’re willing to behave on the internet?!

(Meet late luteal phase Stephy, who has no tolerance for this crap!)

Listen, I get training for aesthetics. I do it. If Jessica Rabbit and Blaze from American Gladiators had a baby – that’s exactly the look on my vision board.

But this ‘toned & skinny’ BS is not serving perimenopausal women… or any women, for that matter.

Women were taught that being desirable meant being contained.

Light appetite
Quiet ambition
Minimal needs
Minimal impact

Why? So we can stay small, fragile, and insignificant. But femininity isn’t any of those things. It’s loud, inconvenient, and strong AF. Just like you.

I am making some new rules that invite women to be strong, visible, capable, sensual, and unapologetically here. Muscle isn’t a threat. Taking up space isn’t a problem. Shrinking yourself was never the assignment.

Your mission in life, should you choose to accept it, Betty, is to become MORE of who you ALREADY are.

And if you are in midlife, you are frankly not at liberty to shrink anymore.

Hormones shift.
Muscle becomes metabolic armor.
Bone density becomes non-negotiable.
Resilience becomes survival, not vanity.
And suddenly, the cost of staying small is too high.

So let me be clear: Femininity is not fragility. It never was.

The version of femininity many of us inherited was designed for compliance and being aesthetically appealing so a man would choose us. (?!)

No, ma’am. We’re going for capability. Longevity. Being the one who makes the choices.

My new definition is rooted in trusting your body.

This is an unbreakable trust that comes from:
Muscle that can carry you
Joints and tendons that can handle life
Energy that lasts past noon
A nervous system that isn’t constantly braced for impact

This is not about looking like a man. It’s about looking like a woman who can handle herself.

 

6 New Rules for Women

*Note: We reserve the right for these rules to change when we want to change them.*

1. Muscle is feminine.
Muscles are curves wrapped up in competence.
Muscle is posture, presence, and power.
Muscle is the difference between aging gracefully and aging fearfully.

2. Taking up space is neutral.
It is not aggressive.
It is not arrogant.
It is not something to apologize for.
Your body expanding into strength is not a moral failure.

3. Soft and strong are not opposites.
You can have tenderness and tension.
Curves and capacity.
Beauty and bite.

4. Discipline is not punishment.
Training is not penance for eating.
Movement is not repayment for pleasure.
Your body is not a problem to manage.

5. Desire does not disappear with age. It deepens.
And a woman who feels physically capable often feels more sensual, not less.

6. Shrinking is an outdated strategy.
The goal is not to be easier to control.
The goal is to be harder to dismiss.

 

Your Reward: Earned Confidence

Should you choose to accept this new assignment, my dear Betty, you will be entering into your era of earned confidence.

And not just confidence from mirrors (but hey, that too).

And not confidence from external validation (because you’re going to validate your damn self, so getting it from others is inconsequential).

Your earned confidence comes from knowing:

You can physically and psychologically lift heavy things.
You recover well and deserve it.
You trust your joints, your spine, your strength, and your stamina
Your body is your ally, not your enemy
You are not a problem to fix. You are a masterpiece to celebrate.

 

The Bottom Line

And I am redefining femininity, not because I want to start a revolution or a rebellion.

I am redefining it as a return to accuracy.

Women were never meant to disappear quietly or fade into the background. We were meant to build bodies we trust, and design lives that can hold them.

The old rules asked women to be smaller. With our new rules, I am empowering women to be ready.

And that changes everything.

 

🌟 Love these recommendations? Find more resources to support your health in midlife in my Health Toolkit!

 

 

Disclaimer: The information included in a newsletter, email, or on drstephanieestima.com is intended solely for educational purposes. It does not replace a direct relationship with your licensed medical provider and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Affiliate Disclosure: Products mentioned in a newsletter, email, or on drstephanieestima.com, may be part of an affiliate agreement in which Dr. Stephanie Estima receives a small commission on the sale of an item you purchase.

 

 

Mini Pause #105 | 2016 ➡️ 2026 is a gut punch for me

Posted on by stephanie-estima

Have you seen the 2016 > 2026 trend going around social?

It’s so sweet to see younger selves popping up with the wisdom of a decade laid on top. But when I think about 2016, it takes my breath away. It was not a good time for me.

Ten years ago, my approach was to fix the problem at all costs. Today, my approach is to support the body so it works with you.

Same discipline. Very different strategy. And one builds upon the other.

I was thinking recently of how wild it is that 2016 was 10 years ago and how much I have changed since then. I was doing some side-by-side snapshots of life 10 years ago vs today and wanted to share some insight with you.

Me in 2016

Ten years ago, circa 2016, I was in crisis and in need of deep healing.

I was going through a very painful and difficult divorce, I was rebuilding my clinic after a fire burned it down, and I was navigating persistent PCOS and endometriosis symptoms, rampant inflammation, and hormonal chaos.

My heart and my body were broken.

I still vividly remember my entire face breaking out in eczema, and no amount of makeup could cover it up. My face was peeling and red-hot from the active flare-up. Great look for a doctor talking to her patients about healing and the components of health, right?

I also remember being so scared to go to sleep because of the terrorizing nightmares and shaking. I would tremble and shake so much overnight that I would wake up sweating, panicked, and confused.

I was heartbroken, trying to navigate a present and a future I never thought possible.

This was one of the toughest times of my life.

I never really spoke about how much I was suffering because it felt deeply personal, and I felt like I was being gutted like a fish every single day.

Me in 2026

Fast forward to today, and I’m no longer fixing anything. The eczema has healed, my hair is no longer falling out, and my periods are joyful.

Truly joyful! I love them. To me, they mean my body is balanced.

The tools I used back then laid the foundation for who I am today.

Now I’m maintaining, performing, and protecting what I’ve built.

Both versions were necessary. I had to fix what had come undone. And it sucked.

Even though there were a really rough emotional and physical couple of years, looking back, I would not change it because it is the reason I am who I am now.

Then vs Now

DIET

Then (~2015–2018):
Therapeutic ketogenic diet

Very low carbohydrate, moderate protein, high fat

Highly structured and macro specific

This diet was super effective for me. I used this intentionally to reduce inflammation, stabilize insulin, and to restore a normal menstrual cycle. I lost a ton of excess weight and healed my period. I developed trust in my body to heal. I wrote a book about it, and it was an international bestseller.

Now (2026):
Protein-forward

Carbohydrate-inclusive

Healthy fats, not fat-dominant

Maintenance-phase, not cutting or bulking

Now, my diet is built for muscle retention, performance, hormone support, and long-term metabolic health. There’s no such thing as bad foods or food groups. I eat everything and with pleasure. Including the occasional Oreo cookie and even (gasp!) seed oils.

The Key Shift:
Because I conquered my symptoms with food, I no longer need to use food as a tool to control symptoms. The symptoms are gone. Now I eat to support performance, recovery, and longevity.

FASTING

Then:

Extended fasting, lots of 24-hour, 48-hour, and 72-hour fasts

Pushing metabolic stress as a strategy because my metabolism was in shambles from all the personal and professional stress.

I did one 96 hour fast where I lost my period for 2 months afterwards. Then I started to think… Is there a difference between fasting outcomes for women and men?

This, alongside my experience with keto and my female patients, started to develop my thinking for female-centric protocols and became the baseline of my first book.

Now:

No fasting at all beyond my sleep

I eat consistently throughout the day, with 3 meals and snacks.

The only remnant of fasting I still practice is that I finish eating ~2 hours before bedtime, because this significantly affects my sleep quality. Other than that, I embrace food for nourishment and joy.

CARDIO

Then:

A lot of unintentional Zone 3/Zone 4.

Sweat was the goal.

Didn’t pay attention to my heart rate, just pushed my cardiovascular limits.

I used to joke that my toxic trait was switching a Zone 2 workout into a Zone 4 workout. Zone 2 felt like I was “wasting my time.” I was working hard, but hardly working toward a clear metabolic goal. It was just cardio for the sake of sweat and exhaustion. If I didn’t need a bucket, did the cardio even happen?

Now:

Cardio is extremely intentional.

Zone 1 & 2 through a minimum of 10K steps a day.

Zone 5 for VO₂ max and power.

Heart-rate guided training (Garmin + chest strap)

High-intensity work done on purpose, not by accident (meet my CAROL bike and the brutal Norwegian 4×4 program!!)

Daily mobility work

I get on the treadmill first thing in the morning. I think and dream about it in the quiet silence of the morning, the only sounds are the hum of the machine and my footsteps. It’s trance-like. I use this for mitochondrial health, recovery, and fat oxidation, and of course, deep strategy and thinking.

The Key Shift:

Intensity is now strategic and scheduled. It is not emotional.

My only “emotional” cardio is the bliss I have playing squash and tennis. Those are my dates with my husband, and I have a perma-smile the whole time.

This evolution didn’t happen because I got “softer.”

It happened because I got smarter.

The Bottom Line

My healing phases required precise intervention because I was in crisis, but I didn’t stay there longer than needed. I moved into Carb-landia when the timing was right.

Now, my performance requires precision, so I am intentional about feeding, fueling, and recovering.

This eternal maintenance phase I am in requires a solid foundation of strength training and intentional cardio. I have built trust into my routine and into my psyche. I never break dates with myself.

What supports me today wouldn’t have worked back then.

It had to be in this order. I had to heal first, before I could focus on building and performance. This is the part you don't see on social media:

The right plan changes as the body changes.

Now, in 2026, my diet has fewer restrictions and more fuel.

My training includes better recovery, a clear intent behind every training zone, and daily mobility work to honor my joints, tendons, and ligaments.

The result? A body that feels reliable and predictable.

I’m not fragile anymore. I don’t feel broken or at the whim of erratic hormones.

My mood is stable. I sleep like I’m paid to.

In many ways, I do less now. I don’t fast, I don’t really count macros, and I don’t kill myself in group exercise classes. I take super easy walks, I train hard, and I relish playing squash.

But this isn’t about “doing less.”

It’s about doing what serves you now… not clinging to what once worked out of fear OR trying to make what worked 10 years ago work now.

You are 10 years the wiser, my friend. 10 years more experienced. 10 years better.

You’ll need to upgrade your software to match your hardware. Ya feel what I’m throwing down here?

So, in case no one has told you… Stop trying to white-knuckle your way through a program that worked once for you 10 years ago. Maybe it was all you needed back then.

Now that you're more sophisticated, the plan needs to adapt alongside you.

 

Thanks for giving me the space to share,

Dr Stephanie

🌟 Love these recommendations? Find more resources to support your health in midlife in my Health Toolkit!

 

 

Disclaimer: The information included in a newsletter, email, or on drstephanieestima.com is intended solely for educational purposes. It does not replace a direct relationship with your licensed medical provider and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Affiliate Disclosure: Products mentioned in a newsletter, email, or on drstephanieestima.com, may be part of an affiliate agreement in which Dr. Stephanie Estima receives a small commission on the sale of an item you purchase.

 

 

Mini Pause #49: Choose Your Stack from These 47 Health Habits

Posted on by stephanie-estima

Special Birthday Edition!

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

I cringe when people subtly imply in the subject of their weekly newsletter that it is their birthday just so people can wish them a happy birthday,

You won't catch me doing that today. 🎉

(This joke was really, like REALLY, funny in my head before writing it out. 😆)

WHY

Every year on my birthday, I like to take myself through a grueling workout with my age as the number of sets I perform in any given workout. It is a promise to myself that takes me several hours to complete, and it’s hard to articulate just how satisfying it is to be able to get through a workout of this magnitude. But I feel like a Queen who has just conquered a new kingdom. 👑

This year, the sets have climbed to 47. Hot damn. 🔥

47 sets in total of the following:

  • Bulgarian Splits Squats: 10 sets (5 per leg)
  • Romanian Deadlifts: 10 sets
  • Good Mornings: 10 sets
  • Narrow Stance ATG Squats: 10 sets
  • Hip Abduction: 7 sets

I’m currently in Vegas, speaking at the A4M Longevity Fest on Female Longevity, and if you’re here, come say hi! I’ll be talking about what it means to age well as a woman.

If you’re not here, I can summarize my talk in a few words: female longevity boils down to getting lean, jacked, and tanned. Everything I have ever talked about is some iteration of this. (I also feel this is a T-shirt-worthy slogan)

Now for my medium and dark roast Bettys, I’d also like to share 47 health habits and principles I have garnered from my formal education, 20-year tenure as a clinician, and just life experience that has often humbled me and ran contrary to my plans.

WHAT

47 RULES (that should absolutely be broken once in a while)

  • Eat upon waking. Collagen in your coffee counts if that's all you have time for.
  • Aim for 30g (or more) of protein per meal, especially at breakfast.
  • Get in touch with your inner protein shake to top up protein.
  • Time your carbs in and around exercise (before and after).
  • Fruits are your friend! Consume them daily.
  • Frozen fruits are not only an economical win, but they often are the most ripe with vitamins and minerals (as they are left on the vine/bush/tree longer before being picked).
  • There are no bad foods, just bad food influencers online.
  • Fast gently and daily (mostly overnight).
  • A great pre-workout is boiled eggs, mayo, salt, and ½ an avocado.
  • Pork is about 10% the cost of chicken and almost the same macros. Truly the forgotten white meat.
  • If cottage cheese can be cookie dough, you, my friend, can be whatever the hell you want.
  • Invest in a good coffee machine at home and stop buying rat poison from Harbucks and Bumkin Donuts.
  • Eat chocolate.
  • If you overeat, what’s often more detrimental than the caloric intake is how you treat yourself over it. The stress response is worse than the actual deed.
  • When you talk to yourself, ask, does this pass the friend test? Would I speak to my friend in this way? Or would my tone–one of forgiveness and grace–go up for her? If so, speak to yourself like you are a friend.
  • With any lofty goal, triple the amount of time you have originally allotted for it. Want to lose 10 lbs in two months? Make it six months, and allow yourself to become the person who can lose 10 lbs gently and keep it off.
  • You are not behind, and there is no rush. You are exactly where you need to be.
  • Approach any problem worth solving like it’s a guarantee of success. How would you act differently if you knew it would all be ok in the end?
  • Love yourself enough to take your damn time. Queens do not rush.
  • Do you remember the person who had the best body the last time you were on a beach? Me neither. Wear the damn bikini.
  • Take pictures with your kids. You are worth remembering exactly as you are now.
  • You are not broken. Maybe a little bent. But such is life. We are all a little bent.
  • Make your daily goals the focus, not the outcome, if you want to lose the 5 lbs (outcome). Stick to what has to happen every day (sunshine, walks, getting to the gym).
  • You don't need to kill yourself in the gym to get results.
  • There is a 60/20/20 rule I have observed in the gym. 20% of the time you will have an awesome workout, 20% of the time you will have a terrible workout, and 60% of the time, it will be a regular workout. Show up for ALL of them.
  • Cute gym outfits are directly proportional to how well you perform in the gym (this has been my n of 1 observation at least!)
  • How you treat your body now will dictate how your body will treat you later.
  • Lift weights to approximate failure.
  • Don't worry if the weights are “heavy” or not. Pick a weight heavy for YOU so that you can barely complete the last rep.
  • Always do a full range of motion until you cannot anymore. Then do long-length partials until you're done, like dinner.
  • Invest in grips. Your deadlifts will never be the same. Pinky promise.
  • Never, ever, ever skip a workout. Treat the gym like church. Because your body is the temple in which you reside. Worship her.
  • Track your cycle (if you have one).
  • Track your symptoms (mood, energy, sleep) if you do not.
  • Speak to your doctor about hormones if you think you need them. You deserve the conversation.
  • Boundaries are an act of self-love.
  • Recovery is an act of self-love and becomes more important as you age.
  • Going to bed early is an act of self-love.
  • Closing your computer and engaging in the natural world is an act of self-love.
  • Carve out thinking and journaling time. We have become such a reactive society that it’s harming our bodies and minds. Let’s reclaim the art of thinking and sitting in our bodies.
  • Create an evening routine for skincare, hair serums, and a distinct transition from day to night.
  • Mouthtape for better jawlines, nose appearance, and breathing overnight.
  • Invest in blackout blinds or a sleep mask.
  • Sleep in on Sundays.
  • Learn how to do your nails (and save a literal fortune).
  • Plan a trip away next year (either alone or with your partner/family), so you have something to look forward to. Day trips, weekend trips, or anything you have wanted to experience! For me, it is a trip to a thermal spa I have been wanting to go to.
  • (And perhaps more for me than you)–don’t take yourself so seriously. Emulate the awe and joy from your children and re-enact that in your daily life.

HOW

Take some time to luxuriate over this list and see if anything resonates.

If anything calls to you, think about how you might work towards incorporating it into your already full and important life.

NOW

What have I missed? What would you add? Reply to support@drstephanieestima.com and tell me!

What I Recommend

Protein & Collagen

Protein and collagen are my daily go-tos. With Equip, it’s an easy win because they offer high-quality, grass-fed versions in scrumptious flavors. My current protein favorite is Salted Carmel. It’s crazy good. For collagen, I always reach for the chocolate (and add it to my morning coffee.

Equip designed a custom B2G1 sale (three days only!) just for my Bettys that combines these two essentials.

  • Buy 2 Bags of Prime Protein, Get 1 Bag of Grass-Fed Collagen FREE
  • December 18, 19, 20 ONLY
  • Visit https://www.equipfoods.com/DRSTEPHANIE
  • Add two bags of Prime Protein (any flavors) AND one bag of Collagen (any flavor) to your cart.
  • Enter discount code DRSTEPHANIE at checkout.
  • The Collagen price will adjust to $0.
  • Both new and repeat buyers can get this deal!
  • Subscribe & Save orders excluded.

Gift of Health Guide

You’ll find special discounts on products that support and improve your health, your fitness goals, your recovery practice, and your skin health. Start Gifting!

Now Open: EVEN BETTER! Premium Membership Subscription

Don’t Miss Out! Founding member pricing–monthly, annual, or lifetime options–ends December 31. SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

Here’s what’s new for members this week:

  • December’s AMA was LIVE with Dr. Stephanie on Dec. 10. She answered questions from members and the live audience. If you missed it, the recording is available on the membership dashboard.
  • The members-only podcast (ad-free & early release) with Dr. David Spiegel went live. The episode covers the topic of clinical hypnosis for performance, stress, and trauma with an app you can use at home! You’ll also hear Dr. Stephanie’s end-of-show commentary that’s exclusive to members!

DON'T MISS OUT! Join other Bettys in the EVEN BETTER! community.

  • Early and ad-free access to the weekly BETTER! podcasts.
  • Private “Ask Me Anything” episodes based on member questions.
  • Dr. Stephanie “Solo” shows for members only.
  • Insights from the guest discussion coupled with recommendations you can use to build habits and routines that support your goals.
  • Downloadable action guides. Coming Soon!
  • Bonus content.
  • Exclusive discounts for brands I love.
  • Being part of a community with like-minded Bettys!