episode #04

Dr. Shefali Tsabary – Awake-ish

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Episode 004 Dr. Shefali Tsabary – Awake-ish

World-renowned clinical psychologist and best-selling author, Dr. Shefali Tsabary, who specializes in the integration of Eastern philosophy and western psychology is on today’s podcast with Dr. Stephanie! Dr. Stephanie and Dr. Shefali define and discuss the framework of conscious parenting. They touch on parenting myths from Dr. Shefali’s latest book, The Awakened Parent, including topics of self-love, expectations, and happiness. Finally, Dr. Shefali provides best practices that parents can utilize in order to become more conscious in their parenting.

EPISODE NOTES

  • 00:56 – Introducing today’s guest, Dr. Shefali Tsabary
  • 05:35 – Conscious parenting, defined
  • 08:18 – Goals of conscious parenting
  • 11:22 – Dr. Stephanie opens up about having expectations of her son
  • 13:29 – Framing expectations for our children
  • 16:11 – Differentiating between child-centric and parent-centric parenting
  • 18:22 – Parenting myths discussed in Dr. Shefali’s book, The Awakened Parent
  • 19:58 – Why success has become the primary barometer for childrearing
  • 23:14 – The danger of potential
  • 25:26 – The myth of ‘good’ children and ‘bad’ children
  • 28:50 – Learnings Dr. Stephanie applied from Dr. Shefali’s book
  • 30:28 – Dr. Shefali provides practical tools parents can utilize daily
  • 31:47 – The myth that good parents are naturals
  • 35:11 – Breaking free of parental guilt
  • 36:40 – The myth that a good parent is a loving one
  • 39:36 – Dr. Stephanie recalls a vulnerable moment from her childhood
  • 42:18 – The myth that parenting is about raising a happy child
  • 46:10 – The myth that parents need to be in control
  • 48:46 – Tools parents can use to become more conscious
  • 52:47 – How to navigate two differing parental philosophies
  • 54:14 – Dr. Shefali gives advice to parents struggling with raising children with special needs
  • 55:54 – The importance of accepting ourselves as imperfect beings
  • 58:16 – Dr. Shefali promotes her annual event, Evolve
  • 59:50 – Where listeners can follow Dr. Stephanie and subscribe to her newsletter

TWEETABLE QUOTES

“The conscious parenting understands that the traditional way they’ve been parenting until now is full of holes and mythologies that need to be debunked.” (05:45)

“In many ways our children are more evolved because they allow themselves to be unhampered by culture. They’re very open about their feelings. They’re not yet jaded and critical like we can be.” (11:03)

“I think keep it to day-to-day expectations and the rest will kind of take care of itself. If they’re [your children] meant to be a scientist, they’re going to be a scientist. If they’re meant to be an artist, they’re going to be an artist. Don’t dictate their future.” (15:52)

“Success has become the goal of childhood. Not play, not exploration, not nothingness, not boredom, not creativity, but success.” (19:58)

“Our children are not here to live our lives. And they’re not here to fulfill our destinies. They’re here to become their own beings.” (22:46)

“There’s so much to learn. And, really, parenting should just be learning. We don’t know these children that come to us.” (32:16)

“The journey is not outward, it’s inward. You have to go inward in order to make this thing call parenting work.” (34:59)

“Love is the most active thing you can feel. And it really involves no judgement, no approval, no conditions, no transactions. It’s really love for the other person’s essence no matter how they make you feel.” (37:06)

“That’s the beautiful part of life. If life was all happy, there would be no nuance, there would be no adventure, there would be no complexity, and there would be no growth.” (43:27)

“Meditation has been the single most profound tool in my life, so much so that I am more connected inward than outward.” (51:57)

“We can’t be everything to all people and all things and all images of ourselves as women.” (54:44)

“Mothering just takes the life out of us, doesn’t it? And I think that we are ashamed to talk about just how draining it is because we have this mantle of perfection over our heads.” (55:31)

 

LINKS MENTIONED

Better! Website

Private Facebook Community for Better!

Dr. Stephanie’s Website

Dr. Stephanie’s Twitter – @dr_stephanie

Dr. Stephanie’s Instagram – @dr.stephanie.estima

Dr. Shefali’s Instagram – @drshefalimexico

Dr. Shefali’s Twitter – @DrShefali

Dr. Shefali’s Facebook

Dr. Shefali’s Website

Link to Dr. Shefali’s Evolve Event

BOOKS MENTIONED

Dr. Shefali’s Book – The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children

The Conscious Parent

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CONTRIBUTORS

  • Dr. Shefali Tsabary
  • Dr. Stephanie Estima

I’m Dr. Stephanie

Part geek, part magic, and all the way passionate about being a well-lived woman.

I want to throw my grandkids in the air in my 70’s. I want to be squatting even more weight than I am now, and putting my OWN luggage in the overhead bin. Sound like weird goals? For me these are just some of the little things that represent a life well-lived.

My health is MY job – I’ll be damned if I rely on luck, ‘good genes’ or a cocktail of drugs that over promise and under deliver.

The Betty Body is my first book-baby, and a collection of what I’ve learned after thousands of clinical hours, hundreds of conversations with the world’s top experts, and most importantly…

This book is an outline of what took ME from “rock-bottom health” at 38, to being my own version of a Betty in my perimenopausal mid 40’s. A woman who is physically strong, full of energy, enjoys mental clarity, great sex and a joyful family life. Is it all roses? Of course not. But I have the stamina and tools to deal with the push and pull of life so that it doesn’t turn into chronic stress.

I want this for you too. Let’s go Bettys!